♥ 昨天是我的恋人 , 今天是我的爱人 ,明天是离开我的人

i read something today that made me drop my tears ..

it's a post from my cousin blog ..

i was actually quite suprise that i was moved by it ..
my cousin told me just now he had a bad dream last night ..

it was something bout my grandpa ..

to me , it seems like he's hinting not to sell this house ..

everybody agree with what i said ..

yea .. no one actually bear to move ...

right now , im so tired.. have not slept since last night ..chat on phone with jun xiang =)

and i cant sleep caux my aunt went overseas and i've to do all these things ..

im feeling weird today .. not happy , not sad ..

there's something i kept thinking but w/o any link ..

wth .. lag of sleep makes your mind go wild ?

lols .. i think i did something mean ytd .. but was it actually my fault then ?

i really don know , just venting all my anger i have for you all these while ..

im not a bad friend but sometimes , things just force me to do it ..just let things be ..

maybe i should just fucking hell stop all these drinking .. i cant stop drugs y not drinking ..hmmm .. but if i stop drinking my life will seems so meaningless .. lols ..
long and naggy post ? but so what .. it my blog man ...!!

awaiting for 7 pm and i call jolly well sleep till like there's no tml =)

woke up 5pm today .. damn shag man ..
watch the movie "coming soon" @ home ..
the movie not really scary but then abit digusted by that woman face la ..
ytd @ court leng msg me äsking if i was angry ..
im like wth hell man .. what's the point of asking today when everything is over ..
i was angry because she gave me sucha lame excuse man ..
i dont wanna mention much bout it la , when she called me i was super angry because
i was super tired while waiting for ah boy sentence ..
never make someone angry when that person is so lag of sleep , lols ..
caux the person will fucking blow even if it might seems like nothing to you ..
ytd experience was the best .. all 3 of us the same attitude expect for ah choi ..=)

its been days or izzit been weeks since i last heard from you ?
i guess it's been too long for me to remember how long it was ..
too long that i even forgotten the pain ..
i always tot that someday there will be miracle ..
i always pray for the day that i'll see you again ..
but did you even know being this way is so much more pain ..
yupp , you will never realise =)
"let it be" is what i always tell myself ..

fish spa , fucking digusting

jasmine voxy @ mustafa

ah choi bear jasmine voxy@ k-box

mustafa =)

@ 269 coffeeshop

269 coffeeshop

ytd went to meet sebas and jasmine @ illuma ..

we watch the movie DRAG ME TO HELL ..

half of the movie i was like covering my ears man.. the sound effect ..

damn funny la .. we 3 cant stop laughing and screaming...

after movie we went 269 sit and smoke ..

then off we go mustafa , actually wanted go BQ drink..

had alot fun there man ..walk till tired we sit down and eat ...

and thinking where 2 go ..then we decided to either go catch prawn or fish spa..

we choose fish spa, caux like non of us dare to hook the worm la..

went bishan for the fish spa...i swear i really don dare put down my leg caux damn digusting when the whole bunch swim to you..sebas and jasmine also same la .so we 3 change to body massage, shiok la !

after that ah choi come find us then we went jasmine house play mahjong ..

play till tired we went to rest awhile before gg sub court ..

damn shag , we took bus80 to chinatown and walk damn far lo! the sub court seems so far man ..

after jasmine settle her things there, they say go walk walk and wait till 3pm for ah boy court sentence.. 4 of us like super shag already.. then we decided, got so many time , we go sing k-box..

sing till 3 we walk back to sub court ..kao ah boy court super long ... we from 3pm wait till 5 plus... between this time got abit of problem .. shall not mention ..im so shag now.. im gg sleep man !

enjoy with these people man !

lanying darling =)

annie

best sister ever, charmaine =)

i fucking love this 3 ladies in my life..

thru ups & down ..

we may be busy withour lifes ..

but i'll never forget the time we go thru =)

i love you man sister's !

YOU'RE A LIER ! I HATE YOU YR!!!!!!!!

fuck everyone who's around me ..

fuck those who act like they care ..

fuck those hypocrite.

SEBAS ANd DICkson court postpone again =)

im so so so tired but when i close my eyes , i kept thinking of so many things ..

i dont know why , im moodless , speechless now !

i slept for only 4 hours ytd and im really so tired now ...

hmmm .. Grandma say will buy 1 phone give me , so good of her ..

1st time sia .. i must buy 4d .. lols ..

i feel so meaningless in life , grandma didnt understand why i kept drinking ..

maybe its the only way i can find myself.. im not trying to get any excuse for myself ..

seriously those beer doesnt taste good .. so why would i wanna drink almost every night ..

anyway i cant be bothered to xplain .. caux she wont understand anyway ...

i was watching some video in you tube & i saw 1 that is really SOHAI lo !

i cant stop laughing to myself ..and grandma tot i was crazy laughing to myself @ 5am in the morning.lols .

i still cant sleep , how how how !!!!!

ytd fucking bad day =( lost my hp & money ..

and fucking slap by 1 cb gay!

went she bangs ytd , drank super fast ..

then went to sabai .

i fucking hate sabai man! lost my phone 2times there ..

bad friday man!!

im fucking moodless now!

bad mood , everything spoil my day!!!!

fuck the person who took the phone ..

不怪父母生错命 , 命运早已天注定 !

the donald duck.. super cute siol

me and leng in chan pub

went chan pub ytd with leng & peter ...
played and kept losing .. drink n drink...
wah , we still went to you pub .. reach there i abit lost already ...
after closed .. i still say wanna go she bangs ..guess peter must be very dulan with me bahs ...
hhaha .. share cab with him to boat quay, he drop me and leng there ...
saw david n co there .. drank abit of his martell and i swear it sucks man with beer =(
drink drink drink...david send me home...haha saved cab fare man! reach home with a donald duck in my bag ... i forgotten how i got it .. maybe angela .. hhahaha ...
i remember i reach home i still call the police... siao le la...
because of those malay people !!! angry la ...

you never know i always yearn to see you ..

you never seems to worry about how am i ..

you never even bother to give a call..

no matter how many days you never hear about me..

what am i actually to you?

you never bother to let me know ..

i know maybe you're happier this way..

ytd went blastier to do my hair with aunt ..

i did colouring... but maciam no difference siol !

help my grandma ytd and didnt slept .. help her till 1 plus

come home caux feeling cramp .. was about to go sleep

aunt ask me want do my hair then i followed ...

wa .. i tot will be very fast jitao 2 plus in the afternoon do until 9 in the night ..

i kept dosing there ..

reach home shower n sleep ..

i've woke up now ... my whole body feeling so pain =(

im getting weaker everyday ...

tml gg ah chan pub 2 drink .. yea!

took with sebas phone .

BROTHER & SiStER everything will be fine very soon

waitress @ she bangs , i dont know her name

leng voxy amy

went she bangs again ytd ...hmmm , boring man ~

drink quite fast and then lanying & her friend join us ..

kao , lanying , good intro uh ! u know i know what i mean uh ..

ying forever never changed , so fast drunk then she left early ..

leng n me drank till 3 or 4 plus? i dont know..

send her to sengkang ... reach my place cab fare $37 .. WTH...

i super cant stand that DA NIU!!

when i say don come u still come .. very fan gan okiee.

reach home , super drunk already ...

你的选择或许没错,你没有给过我承诺也许是我欠你

leng n me in you pub

went leng house meet nieki n leng ...
then we reach boat quay bout 9 plus join big head n his friend table..
we drank super fast ..
then again we went you pub.
many things happen there, long story!
in short! i super duper du lan with that china woman!
f*** her man .. luckily her ..
nieki only manage to push her...
hmm.. i woke up with whole body feeling pain..
must be beacuse of someone man ..lols...
nbm... all over la!
me n leng still went back to she bangs n drink..
then da niu came to fetch us home ...
god! i don wan him.. i want the other him man!
y god always send the wrong one to me... hur =(

ps* if you could understand how my heart feels , you wont left me feeling this way . it only proves, you never understand at all =( yiren

saw this video from peggy blog and i find it nice too man !

im waiting n waiting .. just your call!

izzit very hard for you ..

i don wanna think so much ...but my mind is so full of you...

kept thinking of reason for you .. why that havent you called..

i don like this feeling YIREN!

suppose to go you pub ytd .. but ..
went leng house meet her 1st .. then we was thinking ..
then our last decision was she bangs ..
went there .. WA jitao no people sia ..
we say " drink finish this barrel we go you pub ok"
fransis the face really jitao very lan jiao bin lo..
see liao more dulan..
soon got more n more people ..
me n leng was busily entertaining ourself jitao very HAPPY!!
suddenly we saw zheng yue..a group of people which i don really wish to see..
hais , they haven come in i was like praying ,"please, i don wan see kelvin!!"
i n leng mood change super fast lo, i was like thinking , arbo don need finish this barrel straight away walk off , when they walk in , kao YIREN sia !!
leng say" don care them la, we play oursleves"
and so we continue our game ... still laughing n laughing..
ya .. we became high le ... i ask leng go toilet with me because we have to walk pass them to get to the toilet ..then yiren said" don know us ah?" lols..
i just walk off , i know that's rude but leng stop n talk to them ..
and soon they join our table ...drink drink , play game , kao , i kept lose man !
went out to smoke, then yiren told me " hais why you choose to be with kelvin, he already got GF"!!
seriously when i heard that, i admit i was devasted, i really don know!!
i cried then that stupid yiren comfort me ..
soon i was really v drunk already ..
they still went to eat man ...
then yiren n i send leng home ...
i spent the whole night with yiren , and i was glad...i knew something i always wanted to know from yiren...
YIREN, i don wanna think, where i stand in your heart now ..
at least things turn out better then before ..

who can i turn to when i just need someone to cry, to tell all my problem..
why cant things be simple in life?
why are humans all so ugly ?
sebastian , do you think things can turn out like before?
im really tired of hearing all these ugly stuff bout you..
each time i sees you , i cant bring myself to scold you..
after grandpa pass away, all these things happen..
i really almost breakdown..
i really miss grandpa so so so much...
sebastian , have you wonder is he peaceful above?
if he wasn't gone ... things wont be more n more worst...
i need peace, i just wanna avoid these ugly place, ugly people..
sister are just words put in each other mouth..
there's no one i can actually talk to..
these world is not going the way i want to..
mummy,grandpa if i could just join you all...
would it be better?

我要和世界脱离

ps* take me above =( im not happy here

went ice pub at serangoon ,drink, drink drink till abit high we ended up at you pub .

lols. i was damn drunk that day man ..

actually ah wah told me to go pasir ris meet and i also don know

how the hell he will come kampung bahru.. hahhaha .

must be i tell him to come .. i don remember anything i said that night .

sat on ah boon bike and and i think we did stop at duxton caux i think i saw after six man !!

then went to EAST COAST .

i remember sitting on the beach with ah wah but i don remember whay i've said .. lol

after that wah send me home n off i go n sleep!

i reach home i don know what time n suddenly my aunt call me wake up go airport !!

ya man , forgot gg macau in an early flight ..

ah boon say i sit his bike swing left n right ..hahha . luckily never fall off ah !

不知道什么时候开始喜欢了你
看不到你我就迷矢了自己
只要一闭上眼睛总有千百万个你
你的影子装满我的脑海里
你是好人也是个坏人,这点痛我还能忍.
选择放弃的我应该开心.
我不知道我怎么哭了!
当回忆睡在胸前,真的很伤感.
不能够不想你也不能够忘记你
我只能怪自己有时候太任性
想你的时候只能回味那失落的一段情
她在你的心中,早就已经进去了..我还爱上你
我知道这样不行也知道没有结果
我还在傻傻继续下去!
就算是当作一时糊涂爱错吧!
不敢再去想!看著你的眼你是幸福的!
答应我一直幸福=)

im feeling confused, lost,down but who can i tell to..
i wonder how are you now . .
i left with blood bleeding but who can i tell to ...