♥ Hard to Deal With The Pain of Losing You ♥

2010-04-06T22:31:00.004+08:00

i've not been blogging for like don know 123456789 days .. many things happen ..

but im just so lazy to update everything here . i've stop working pub instead im helping dad with his business.. everyday i have to wake up super early ='( but ok la ... i end work earlier than much more people ..! but im like complaining of not enough sleep everyday . this job has tied down alot of my things , i seldom meet those friends to pub or thai disco anymore . everyday is like eat sleep work .. but still it's better this way i think .it's better than i go to work when the skys turns dark and coming back like an idiot being drunk .. making a fool of myself whenever im drunk ..maybe nobody might agree with me.! i wonder if im not helping my dad anymore what job will i work .. afterall im always going back to square 1 . so no matter how tough it is.. i still have to endure . JASMINE LEE YUN PEI! we'll waiting for you to come out soon .

SEBASTIAN KWEK .. oct 2011 we'll see you again !

2010-01-25T06:23:00.004+08:00

i've been wasting alotof my time i guess on drinking and kelly .. damn ! i know i should just fcuking hell stop it !! many happy and unhappy things happen too fast .. i almost cant breathe .. im really changing , im stopping everything !

2010-01-15T18:47:00.002+08:00

everything should come to a stop . nothing's gonna stop if no one gonna put a full stop to it ..

im just tired .. so tired .. what's freedom ? i gain all my freedom .. but yet its putting me into more nonsense .! drinking dosent solve problem .. but why does it took me so long to realise it No , im not leaving here .. as years goes it slowly doesnt make any sense to me anymore that dying would put a stop.. im just taking a rest to walk a longer journey . thinking one step further for my little love . i hope this rest would change me , change my life . i hopemy family would give me the most determination .

2010-01-10T19:02:00.022+08:00

currently moved to buangkok house stay because of litte boyfriend school over there ..

boring no com over there so my blog is going to die ... stop work for 1 week to rest and some family matters to settle .. i m like forgetting what im doin everyday .. only photos bring back some memories .. ilove element =D

2009-12-29T08:37:00.015+08:00

spent christmas at element =D at first was like so fun then ended up with a "WHAT A CHRISTMAS!" thing... nevermind ... at least i enjoyed the procedure =D life is work,sleep,eat...

never work also go drink ... =( seriously i think i should stop drinking ... im really very very tired !! between these days manys things happen ... someone walk and pass by .. i got no comment over this person ! new year's coming soon ... and my dear sebas have to spent it inside =( have not been visiting him due to my messed up life !! jeron will be starting school soon =DD he's like so cute !!! =DDDD

2009-12-16T07:44:00.002+08:00

past few days .. work and burbery thai ...ytd was suppose to be an off but went berry =)

after berry , went nana but too bad because of LL . and we ended at bangkok thai ... D and his group came and join us ... after tt D send me home .... everyday drink very tired .. never drink cant sleep .. like what the hell... today was suppose to visit beloved sebas but overslept again.. sorry ... woke up around 6 plus .. wanted to go out but waited for leelian and jasmine planning till very late so stay at home .. on phone with 122 till 4 plus .. then started writting letter to beloved sebas .. he must be feeling very down =( 2010 faster arrive .... im feeling so sick ... how to stop drinking ?lol i know i cant !!

2009-12-12T17:24:00.003+08:00

work last night was allright =) at last there got some disagreement .. lame thing ok ... went home sweet home .

2009-12-11T13:04:00.002+08:00

wednesday night after work went sabai with Dear , huei , shuana and roy .. went awhile only can lost wallet =( shit shit shit ! i hate sabai can .. lost hp twice there and this time wallet !

thursday night was an off day yet still cant rest .. *D came my home fetch me then went to fetch his friend then to berry =) met leng there .. ok ... i had illusion there =o left there don know what time .. D send me home .

2009-12-09T17:45:00.008+08:00

met jasmine , patrick ,weijun and leelian at my father shop .. after that patrick send us to teo heng ... 3 of us went to sing the rest went back =) after singing me and leelian went to bugis walk ... less than 10 min all the shop closing .. while walking to 269 annie called .. so went geylang with ahlu and annie to wash car after that went to eat ...eat finish me and leelian went to club burberry to met huei and leng ... all drink till quite drunk after berry close we went neverland .. then those new people we knew came and join for awhile . drink , games and home sweet home =)

2009-12-08T13:43:00.005+08:00

last min went bangkok thai disco .. then after that went mustafa walk walk =)

2009-12-07T22:39:00.002+08:00

HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY JASMINE! BE HAPPY , NO MATTER WHAT WE'LL ALWAYS WAIT FOR YOU , LETS PRAY TOGETHER=)

2009-12-07T19:48:00.011+08:00

went bugis meet jasmine and weijun do extension , after that cabbed to tao payoh .. went to get my fuo pai and after that shop for steamboat stuff =DDDDDDDDDDDD enjoyable huh...

at night met ABK for awhile take things then off to berry club and huang hou =)))

suppose to go jasmine court but din make it .. sorry love=( please don be sad anymore , like i say everything will be fine very soon ... hais .. another close 1 going in soon .. we'll always be Forever Here Waiting ok ...tml let's enjoy to the max!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-12-06T05:41:00.026+08:00

21st birthday =) thanks for those who came & thanks those who did not but had wish me =)

2009-12-03T07:25:00.003+08:00

suppose to meet minmin they all for shopping .. but overslept till dont know time =D

die ! my day is night , night is day .. worst .. never drink cant sleep at all =(

ytd was leelian bdae =) happy birthday huh ! ended work at 6 .. a customer send me back =,=

2 more days to my birthday ... 50-50 excited only .. guess i cannot be going to sleep at this time ... if not i wont be able to make it later on !!! visiting my beloved sebastian later on =D comfirm botak now !!! hahah !

2009-12-01T05:43:00.002+08:00

dough sick ytd i started my movie marathon from 11pm to the next day 10am ..

power lah =) and i spent my whole day sleeping today .. i feel happpy that im getting enough sleep . lol ! woke up bath .. do mask .. do pedicure and finally wrote letter to my beloved sebastian .. i ended by crying by reading what i wrote =( hope he'll be happy to recieve my letter .. hoho =D leelian celebrating her birthday tml ... i make sure she drop dead drunk . lol!!

2009-11-30T03:35:00.002+08:00

slept till 7pm .. im so tired!!! but money money money is the cause of my sickness ..

super drunk ytd at work =( beer sucks with martell ok .. arrgghhh !!!!!

suppose to work today but my whole body sucks ... sorry =)

counting down to my birthday .. i dont feel special this year ? i just dont have the mood to celebrate but no choice ? LOL!

i want nothing more , i just wanna be happy .. i dont need people to enter my life just to cause me sadness .. its going to be over soon =) my happy days are always ahead ..

2009-11-27T16:32:00.007+08:00

fatcat and neverland , enjoyable night =) saw choi they all at neverland ... drink , drank , drunk !

im happy with these ppl around me ...

2009-11-26T02:47:00.002+08:00

对你的思念是一天又一天,好想再见你一面
你的心到底在想些什么 !
为什么留下这个结局让我承受
在我最需要你的时候,没有说一句话就走..
最爱你的人就是我,怎么舍得我难过
付出的你却没有感动过!

something's going on
why can''t you tell me so
why take the chance when you know it can''t last
i didn''t know you have found someone new
tell me i''ve been dreaming for so long
when did it happen
how could i be so blind
you promise me that you''ll always be true
now you are gone
tell me how could i go on
how could you leave me
why took my heart and broke it apart
every time i think of you
i feel you don't need to break my heart in to two
i remember how much the things u said
how my love was supposed to be

2009-11-26T02:31:00.007+08:00

past few days , work ,old fat cat , bugis today , watched 2012 with jas n leelian .

it'll soon be over , im getting fine with it i guess ..

2009-11-23T17:29:00.002+08:00

promises are meant to be broken , i understand !

fuck your promises ! fuck everything !

heartbroken but so what ! he's happily enjoying!

wish him all the best with his other half !

2009-11-22T14:30:00.008+08:00

2009-11-22T12:38:00.002+08:00

i hate the moment , i see your name appear in my sight ..

all i wanted to do, is get you out of my sight ! to wash this memory clean!

i've deleted everything i can about you .. but your words are still stuck in my mind ..

thanks for showing me the answer in a way i least expected..

how heartless a person could be , i understand at that moment ..

how should i actually felt? .. i forgotten ..

NO TEARS , NO ANGER ... should a person really turns strong as time goes by ?

you would have see what im posting now .. please dont come back again . thanks again and goodbye=)

2009-11-20T17:07:00.016+08:00

been so lazy to blog .. went to S&D court ytd .. arrrgghh .. me and jasmine was crying like a freaking DOG the whole day .. my mood is so spoil ! i hate this feeling !!

i suddenly felt so lost about everything .. im really so tired , i feel like crying out loud !

why people always blame me for what i do and not understand why i did all this ! =( is human really so ugly ? why do we have to hurt each other ? if its really true that its not suitable , in the 1st place why waste your time , effort and everything ! why bother to change someone? so what if the person is willing to change , in then end , will it be happy ? nobody's perfect ..

2009-11-14T13:10:00.002+08:00

Its actually so fragile .. another one who didnt last ..

another one who break his promises ..

it's ok , i'll be going very fine .. i've learn to be strong .

im not sad that it has ended , because i expected it from the start ..

im just sad that , everything you told me was all nothing but rubbish .

i dont what you was thinking .. maybe and maybe ...

nothing was real .

2009-11-12T18:39:00.002+08:00

every step i'm taking .. im walking it with you ..

if you're asking if i'll need you , " it'll be forever "

if you're asking if iLoveyou , " yes, from the start till always, it's still gonna be the same"

i love you unconditionally..

if i had to choose between loving you or breathing ..

i'll use my last breathe to tell you , you meant everything ..

the shortest word is "I"

the sweetest word is "LOVE"

and the only one for me is "YOU"

2009-11-11T04:34:00.016+08:00

monday fat cat , tuesday fat cat then berry club

2009-11-09T15:12:00.007+08:00

im so lazy to blog! i forgot what i do everyday . drink ?!

2009-11-05T02:39:00.011+08:00

overdue photos of fatcat and halloween ... spent my whole day at home ytd ...

will be starting work later on ... first day im so stress can! and i still cant sleep now! =(

2009-11-03T21:46:00.002+08:00

bought baby to daddy new shop.. to support him... all the best to you daddy...

too bad , sebas and dic not around .. sat at his shop till 6 plus and aunt fetched us back...

i damn feel like drinking today .. hur =(

2009-11-03T03:07:00.010+08:00

went for my 2hour training ..leelian came over my house and accompany me , my aunt fetch us there.. duh .. they straight away ask me start on thur ...after training bused to katong met ying at teo heng to sing song again...sang till 7 walk walk at marine parade then yue hua bf send us to bedok inter ... walk to ying house and slack till 1 plus .. im so tired but i just fcuking hell sleep well. why why why!!!!!

2009-11-01T15:57:00.003+08:00

went nana last night for halloween..firstly din have the mood to go out ..

but alas i enjoyed with the company of them .. at least i din have the thought of you thru that night . photos are still in yvonne cam .. shall upload when leng send me ..

maybe you're holding someone hands now ..

maybe you're happier ..

i always wanted to tell you i miss you alot ..

but i know you wont even care ..

behind my smiles there so many tears ...

but i know you wont even bother to wipe it away ..

i know it's really over ,

but somehow i cant even delete you from my mind ..

what's more heartbroken is that ..you seems to forgot about us .

why didnt you hold me back when i said it over ...

that wasnt what i meant .. i just wanted you to changed ..

i was what i am from the start , you wanted to changed me ..

yet i gave in and tried .. but when i wanted to change how you treated me ..

you was so weak , you gave up.

many "why" are running thru my mind ...

2009-10-31T17:15:00.008+08:00

was sick ytd , so missed out my two hour training ... hmm changed to monday =)

ying came to my house find me ... around ten plus leelian came too ... slacktill 2 plus yue hua ask if we wanted go boat quay drink ... ying din wanna go so me and leelian went ... yue hua bf came to fetch us ... went beerbelly and drank till 5 plus .. then her bf drove us back .. =) yue hua was DRUNK! lol..

2009-10-28T23:55:00.006+08:00

Firstly tele-visit sebas at changi , then met leelian @ grandma shop ..

bused over to katong .. sang k @ teo heng ... enjoyed=)

then walk walk @ marine parade .. then bused home ...

tomorrow will be their final court *pray* .. shit ... i think im sick already ...

CDW, i don know why .. your picture is still fixed in my mind .. dough how cold you were ..

im feeling so sad inside , i feel like crying but i dont know how anymore ..

everytime i called to ask you about the thing , my main purpose was just to hear your voice .. but

your cold voice turn me away ..

why did you change so sudden?

was it just a game from the start?

2009-10-28T01:10:00.002+08:00

went for interview at amk just now .. Llian came over my house then we cabbed there .. will be having my 2hour training on friday .. hmm .. after interview walk around amk while waiting for jasmine .. she v long can .. lol .. wait for Llian eat finish we got some stupid idea ... walk to inter dont know that what bus .. finally decided to take 22 .. half way thru .. we alight caux , YES! geylang .. we this 3 idiot from Lor 1 walk to Lor 44 .. power man ! then went grandlink lan shop ..

slack , pei jasmine wait bus then i cabbed home .. tml visiting sebas ... and yeah yeah ... go sing K

2009-10-27T00:27:00.002+08:00

slept for 2 hours woke up prepare and went for their court ! pass midnight le .. 27 0ctober ..

Happy Birthday Sebas ! hais .. you're inside .. hope you'll faster recieve till the birthday card we sent you .. coming thur is their final court le ... faster sentence faster come out better ba .. =)after that me and jas went around chinatown ... we tried to do self tattoo but failed .. lol..so we decided to go city plaza .. leelian came .. slack ... shall not talk bout the throw face part man ..lol..left there around ten .. jas bused home , leelian came over my house downstair slack again .. tml visiting bro .. hope can make it .. pray that tml interview will be ok.. i need job , need money !!

2009-10-25T19:25:00.010+08:00

finally visit till sebas .. he keep nag nag nag .. hmmm.. he's birthday coming soon .. sad that he cant celebrate outside .. after visit him me and jas went my grandma shop eat then she follow me with family to view flat . alas at night drinking again .. she bangs then nana .. somethings happen that day ! fuck tt guy who keep aiming my head .. lol.. back to nana ... but everyone was alr moodless so all cabbed home .. next day again ... she bangs , nana then breakfast at i think tiong bahru ! finally home !

2009-10-19T21:35:00.005+08:00

nothing to blog about my everyday life actually .. caux everyday is drink drink drink !

2009-10-11T21:35:00.002+08:00

im so confused .. had stop work at fatcat already but been there these two days ...

happy birthday darling ying =) hope you enjoy that night .. but after you gone more happening you know? all drunk ... all went stage ! many things happen ... i seriously hate this feeling !

someone tell me .. should i just let go?

2009-10-08T02:18:00.001+08:00

SAM is a IDIOT!

2009-10-07T21:33:00.003+08:00

work last night was another drunk night .. thats my life ..

went with family to view flat and was late for work when i was suppose to reach at 9 pm ..

reached work at 10 and drown myself with martell first =) took my pay ytd .. woo..but but have to wait for bey to bank in for me 1st and wait another 2 days before i can go shopping man ! richard came down ytd too but finish off their martell they went elsewhere .. bey came and join huei's table.. ok , i know im a fool last night .. sorry to those that i've made them piss off with me .. but that's me when im drunk ! so accept it .lol! left to woodlands again slept till 3 plus bey ask me help him take cough mixture .. went to amk clinic .. waited quite long .. after that went to his friend angkong shop .. smoke and talk there .. funny la his friend .. alot jokes ! and ya ! he can tell fortune too man .. he told me i should , lower down my temper .. tell me not to vent anger on my family people .. true ! i should try he say that will be good for me .. but sometimes i just cant control , how? love, its nice spending time with you .. but i dont know how to put trust on people again . reached home at 7 , bath , watch tv .. and later will be time im gonna fly .woo "i believe i can fly" the sentence i always say in fatcat ! hoho ...

2009-10-06T16:30:00.004+08:00

051009 went for peter's birthday at home team chalet ..

quite a fun night .. drink , games and woo .. lol

took photos but its all in gina cam..

left there around 6 am cabed with leng home

reached home cant sleep all the way ..

talk with bey on the phone till 11

special day ? should i put it that way ?

or maybe no ?

061009 -last min went down fatcat even when im not working .. thanks to brother huei uh and richmond .. ask me go down when i actually plan to stay home to pg .. arrgghh ..

bey came down to acc me too .. richmond was abit high uh .. lol .. quite a long but not very long story , just that im lazy to mention it ...lol.. left with bey to his home and now im back to my own home .. woo .. have to work tonight =) when will i get my pay man ...? haha ..

msg with jas last night , was quite sad after seeing her msg .. hai .. lets not think so much anymore ..

i dont know how should i actually explain this ..
i dont want to ask for more ..
i dont want to be the one being heartbroken in the end ..
i dont know if i should go with how i felt or plainly just another one who's gonna pass by.. i dont know anything ..

last sat at work , someone play that song "waiting for you"everything flash back , someone told me , because i still have a thing or so ..but, its been so long .. 3years has pass .. after that someone told me that .. i became so confused .. all along i tot i hated you more .. but why after what i heard i start to feel confused?

2009-10-04T17:46:00.002+08:00

allright .. ytd work was allright .. waited till quite late before there's customer .. ok , stupid richard gave me another surprise .. i sat another free cab ytd and a free packet of cig ! shiok la !

had a few video taken at work .. feel like uploading .. but i know someone will kills me if she ever saw it on my blog or anywhere ..hoho .. shall stop here .. going for peter birthday !!

2009-10-02T17:01:00.002+08:00

im getting tired of blog .. suddenly i felt that is so rubbish ..

went to their court .. postpone again .. till 26 oct .. and on the 27 oct will be sebas birthday ..

=( everything changed so fast .. why .. ? i cannot find someone to trust ..

everyone says their your friend .. but are they true ? i tot blog can be the way where you can say everything .. but i realise its where you let everyone knows about everything ..

i dont blame that right now its a distance , whereby we created ourselves. let it be that way .. =)

i miss sebastian kwek ching yi .. i miss grandpa .. at times . .. i still cant accept the fact that one is inside , one is gone forever .. for sebas , i know if he's inside its a best way for him to change .. and i hope he really does so ..we're waiting for you !

2009-09-28T01:32:00.002+08:00

Back to fatcat , work and drink =) i can drink and yet earn money .. hoho..

tml will be their last court .. impossible to pray that they wont go in ..

just hoped it'll be a lighter sentence .. that thai boy say will help sebas , but guess its all bullshit ..

who will help someone that has caused he's injury . my mind is so confused bout the things around me ... the people , things that had happen .. Am i expecting for more or should i just let things be it this way?

2009-09-18T05:13:00.002+08:00

Last day of work on tuesday @ fatcat .. A thing to be happy about..

after work went club zinc to look for aunt ..god-father asked me if i wanted to try working there .. was quite drunk after work and didnt have the mood, so i skipped his question ..

On wed night he called and ask me work on that day , gosh , so last min and sudden.. rejected as my aunt wanted to accompany me to fatcat to talk bout my pay stuff .. before that went lido to wait for mama .. soon left to fatcat .. after talking went down club zinc again .. SAW liyin there , super surprise .. smoke , talk cock then she left to sabai .. after awhile i also damn tired so aunt drive home =)

went to visit sebas today , but another wasted trip , we're just late by a few min .. shit those officer who keep taking your own sweet bloodly time ! and making as if its our fault for being late .. sadded , bused to changi village with jasmine and step mum to eat .. talk awhile then cabbed home .. rested then at night went mama house to burn offering .. slack and home @ 2am ..and i still cant sleep now ! errrr , starting work tml @ club zinc .. damn , im so so so feeling weird now .. don know is what kind of damn feeling now !!

and to that someone who was once so special : they say because of love , there's hate .. true?
but i freaking hell have no feel @ all ! all i do everyday is pray you met with an bike accident ! i don wish to see you die my dear , i only wish to see you suffering the whole of your life .. you like playing the good guy , dont you? .. go on .. sees ! im playing the bad guy now .. i've never seen such a guy like you .. bastard .. i shall live and see the day you freaking hell begging infront of me ! im evil , go ahead and tell other's what i said , do , wrote .. !

2009-09-12T23:42:00.002+08:00

been drinking almost everyday .. so shag .. everyday 007 till no voice already ...

ytd someone told me something .. i dont know why i cried .. should i even cry for such a person ..

i'll have my revenge someday .. all these years .. all the suffer i've been thru i'll return you double .. i'll make sure for the rest of your life you wont have smile on your face ..

you're the jerk yet you are telling people it was me being the bad role .. just because you want to impress that someone that how good a bf you could be ! fuck off A! i don have to waste my time to have you back just because of jeron .. i have never ask you to take up the responsible.. caux you wont even have the money to do so ! just wait and see A ..!

2009-09-09T17:16:00.001+08:00

work & drunk .

2009-09-06T21:27:00.006+08:00

FINALLY!!!

2009-09-06T19:01:00.002+08:00

i don know why i cant upload photo .. f it man ..

my blog's dead .. im lazy to blog ..

working , kellying .. visiting sebas ..

went to watch final destination with ying that day ... rate 7/10 .. caux i don really like those digusting part =) then went fusion with john they all .. after leelian play finish 3 of us went bedok slack .. some sort of rubbish happen .. shit that person who spoil my mood ..

started work on wed .. ok .. i'll end up drunk always .. ytd was the best la ... seh till need ppl pull me around .. aunt came to drive me home .. i don remember anything anymore .. thats all man ..

2009-08-27T00:22:00.003+08:00

met daddy and jasmine @ changi prison to visit sebas..

firstly went in.. all smiling .. sebas was so happy =)

talk talk then become emotional .. but we still left with a smiling face ..

will be visiting him next monday with dic joining too..

after visit went grandma there eat then went bedok inter walk ...

we like auntie digging gold there .. lols...

after that cabbed home sat @ home downstair with aunt .. caux the agent bring ppl come see house.. reached home bath and blogging now .. im so tired, these few day kept sleeping v late and waking up early .. will be starting work next week @ amoy street .. hais, don know should i actually be happy over it?

2009-08-26T00:05:00.002+08:00

the time seems to pass so fast in my own world ..

slept @ 10 in the morning after my outerspace .. and 6 pm i awake .. im so shag can !during outerspace many thing happen, i got scared out! fan talking to me? etc ....

outerspace till now .. and i realise is already mid-night .. here goes another day ..

just got a news from facebook saying one of my secondary schoolmate pass away in an bike accident this morning .. wth .. i remember seeing him smiling and talking to me, tt time when i went for my friend chalet .. life is so precious ... this moment this person could be right beside you .. but the next moment,their gone forever..i miss grandpa suddenly... few days back, was talking to my dadddy friend , suddenly we talk about the past .. i remember-ed how i hated grandpa during that time of period .. my heart turns super sour .. what can i say? what can i do ... he's gone forever .. but he'll lives inside my heart for a long long time .. i guess i was too emo, so even when im in my outerspace, i still cry like a baby , taking out all those old photo staring into blank air ..i awake now , i now i have to be awake .. i know its useless think think about the past .. caux my grandpa wont be back.. but seriously i miss him super much.. i wonder how is he ... i wish he is still right here ..=(

2009-08-24T23:17:00.002+08:00

i dont wanna talk about it .. i just need to be alone..

i dont wanna think bout it .. i just need to be in my world..

2009-08-24T03:44:00.002+08:00

SMACK SMACK SMACK !

2009-08-23T19:09:00.003+08:00

went to a pub at amoy street ytd with leng and nieki ..

drank and kelly-ed .. left around 5 .. hengsly cabbed down find me awhile and left to geylang ..

i walk in the rain caux freaking no cab ... like a poor thing like that ..

lol.. finally got cab then went to woodland find diwei .. caux he tell me his house got alot ..

reach there end up he bluff me.. ton at his house and reached home @ 4 ..

2009-08-22T00:28:00.007+08:00

ytd cabbed over to bugis meet lanying, then went lihan shop talk cock ..

boring so went over boat quay .. reach there sian 1/2 caux saw till some ppl =)

drink , play game then hui ying ask go over liquid drink .. before we go , went chamber find chan .. play with last time boss the baby .. his face super seh-ka ..lol .. but very cute la ..

drink awhile there then went liquid drink with huiying boss .. 1jug and we went back find chan , but cb he go already !! so we went back she bang and finish the drink.. ying say she want go home first.. so i stayed and drink with those uob ppl .. drank and went home .. hoho =)

today, met ying @ whitesand .. sat awhile and walk home..

she come my house slack and talk cock .. haha..

that's all ..im still feeling lousy, i don know why eh !

2009-08-19T20:34:00.003+08:00

cabbed to ying house fetched her and went to orchard plaza to meet jasmine ..

took my things and went to kampung bahru to drink ..

saw last time customer ask him to join .. drink till around eleven went to serangoon pub to drink ... boring ~ so went back home ... saw dic and co at fitness corner, join them .. and kelly-ed..

then 4 of us went boat quay .. shall not mention bout this part =) sat there awhile we cabbed down to chinatown to find aunt .. after that home sweet home =)

all along , i tot i've forgotten bout us ..

i hate to see you , i hate to hear about you .. for a moment i tot ..
should i blame on the person who on that freaking song?
or should i blame on fate that let us met ?
or should i blame on you? who left us here?
there's so many many lies i hear from you..
i should have kill you ! but that freaking song makes me think back of everything...
i tot all i could think of was how bad you treated me , but i was wrong..
why did i see myself smiling ? i dont understand..
why did i think of how good you treated me? i don understand ..
4years? you threw me aside to take up everything
i wish , i hope , i pray , in the eyes of him i wont see your reflection .

2009-08-14T14:03:00.002+08:00

last min went down AMK with dic and co to take things from jasmine ..

and cabbed to serangoon , went to a pub over there .. dic and co went back pasir ris..

join big heAd and his friends .. hmm .. feel abit awkward at first caux i was like the youngest there man!! >.<

sat big head friend car home .. i was so lost during the part in their car .. thanks man, kelly !!

illusion till sitting UFO back . power la!

2009-08-12T16:25:00.004+08:00

little jeron

darling n me in cantoment toilet

went she bangs last night with annie and lanying .. annie and i reached there first ..

saw big head and co again .. join their table .. drink drink drink .. aloysious and his gal left first ..

then lanying came , by the time she came i was abit lost already ... then had some problem with agust table .. siao , he went to call the police .. check i/c and so on.. then that gal we had problem with say go in and drink .. chat chat and everything allright .. after drink i went out to smoke suddenly that gal and her friend came and tell me big head got problem .. went in .. tried to stop him end up helping in .. hahha ..darling lanying also beat him up.. what a night =) the guy was beaten up quite serious ..just when fransis stop-ed everything big head go give him one last kick then the police saw .. handcuff big head back .. asked the police he say because he disordely . wth .. after that went in drink again then i don know why i went cantoment ... check big head thing and cabbed home .. aloysious went to bail big head out and he call me say tml court .. wth .. hhaha .

*hey ya , to somebody .. like you say i want write what about you , or say things about is my problem ..

so what's the point you msg and tell me ..

it just spoil my mood only !

2009-08-09T19:13:00.002+08:00

WOW WOW WOW !!! i bought luck to super granny ... super happy man !!!

woohooo .. finally .. all thanks to me .. hhahahah !!!

i feel like shouting out loud mAn !! but she told me to keep it a secret ...woohhoooo =)

2009-08-07T23:02:00.002+08:00

woohoo =) its a happy yet sad day .. before he came out we say we wont cry ..

yet it turn out the other way ..jasmine cabbed over my house then we went queensway .. while on the way my heart was feeling super heavy .. i was so afraid i cant see till him .. yeah .. we make it on time .. after visit him we went kovan to settle somethings and bused to selarang camp to take sebas things... its a long way in ok .. after took his things cabbed home =)

i want to tell somebody , something - " STOP ACTING AS IF I WILL JEALOUS!! JUST FUCK OFF! IT DOESNT MATTER AT ALL TO ME HOW HAPPY YOU WERE! GET IT ? BITCH !

2009-08-06T13:47:00.007+08:00

went for job interview ytd with jasmine @ tiong bahru .. cabbed over her house and fetched her .. and we'll be starting work on monday .. woohoo =) after interview we went bugis again .. super bored there so we went town to find annie and aggie .. walk walk then slack at coffeebean ..

after that aggie husband came fetched us home, jasmine went to find her friend .. annie went to my house wait for me changed then cabbed to her house to wait for her changed >.<

left her house at 11 and cabbed to double o .. meet lanying there and was abit sian caux see the q so long!

finally we go in join annie ex bf table .. play-ed games with her ex friend .. drank till abit high then we left to boat quay again , this time one of annie friend join us .. so the 4 girls went she bangs .. saw agust and co there .. they join our table . drank and we went sabai again .. sat their car there .. and the stupid agust drive till so scary !! we was like screaming all the way .. reached there .. again not much ppl .. bored can ! then me and ying saw gary outside sabai .. talk talk then he left .. soon i also v tired so agust cabbed with me and ying home =)

2009-08-05T22:28:00.003+08:00

here's a quick posting .. currently @ annie house blogging while waiting for her to change.

went boat quay ytd with ying to finish off the martell .. saw david and co there .. order 1 barell and 1 waterfall.. then came the 2nd waterfall .. i don know who the fuck order ..lols ...

after that went sabai with ying, christine, david and his friends ..drunk again and reached home around 2 .

Fade , Fading , Faded

2009-08-03T18:42:00.004+08:00

whats the point of missing something .. when its already gone ..

everything just disappear in a moment .. happy are those who choose to go .

back home already again .. im shag =( hoping the boss will call me tml ..
a new start again ... happy ? maybe .. =) today was their court and its postpone again..
hope friday faster come .. guess we will make it this time .. at most ton and don sleep ..
die die must see till him man! i've wasted so much money on cab fare .. maybe gg boat quay tonight with christin .. but im so tired =(

doggie fido playing with my fake dog .

2009-08-02T20:01:00.003+08:00

终于在眼泪中明白 ,

已经和眼泪说好不哭泣 =)

我躲在我的世界

开始自己的明天 !

2009-07-31T22:51:00.010+08:00

mickey ! cute ! i know man=)
ah hoe donut !! hoho!thanks man !

me and leelian doggie =) haha ! where's ying hamster ?

30 july 09 - close shop early , went home bath etc and send baby to buangkok house ..

went boat quay with my two precious .. @ there got abit of things happen .. shall not mention .. one man suddenly came over and bought us toys man! leelian and i get the dog and ying get the hamster ! super cute but the person who bought it is super the not cute=) woohoo.. drank beer then last time customer came to open martell for us ..

soon , drank again .. ask one of my friend send the 2 girls back then back home =)

31 july 09 - sad day man! cabbed to jasmine house fetch her and then to qrp again ..

twice already !! we still don have the fate to see sebas =( left there and cabbed to bugis..

eat , job hunting and then go find my daughter !! hoho !! late ah she ..! after job interview bused to jamine house and then cabbed home .. met ah hoe at downstair .. woo .. thanks for the donut man.. =) chat chat and now back home .. im tired already ! nightsjas and voxy @ leelian shop =) daughter and mother !before bringing baby to buangkok boat quay @ she bangs

2009-07-29T22:25:00.002+08:00

reach home kelly-ed and doin nothing =(

im so bored can , i cant wait till thursday night ..

woohoo .. drinking session again ... people always ask me you dont drink will die meh?

yea , seriously i guess i will die .. im sinking deeper to something again ..

bad for health ? i know =) some only tend to see the outer side yet they never bother to see the inside too .. why am i feeling so down everyday .. im always asking myself ..

[[sebas, how are you inside ... i listen to the song tao tai ytd .. and i don know why i cried ..

when you're around whenever you play this song i feel so noisy .. why do people always treasure when its gone ? i know i will never wanna hear this song again .. =( ]] when someone feels like they need you, then they'll realise you are not around .. yea, i don need someone like this .. you know im talking about you .. please get lost of my life .. i told myself i will never want someone like you in my life ! fuck off ! bein mean? no im not !

2009-07-27T19:39:00.004+08:00

250709- went to nieki chalet , happy birthday ms nieki ..
play games and drink till drunk again ..reach home don know what time already =)

260709 - went for work , reach home and sleep =)

270709 - went for work , close shop early and went to qrp to visit sebas ..
met jasmine and ah choi @ queesway .. sad to hear that we cant visit him in the end..
then me and jas went to marine parade .. walk then went to eat and cabbed home.
im feeling low now.. yupp , no one understand .. what are friends for ? they just fucking call u when they need you! please don use the word sister when they are just painly names you call !

* sometimes i just wonder how do you define a friend? a good friend? a sister? a best friend ?
they just come and go.. dont they? yea , when you does something wrong, yupp! they will talk about you ..and all sort of things .yet they don see themselves in wrong. whatever , chidish , lame , small gas you name it.. i fucking hell dont give a damn ! if u think im talking about you then be it .. who gives a damn about how u feel when u don even think about how others feel ..

2009-07-23T21:57:00.002+08:00

if it's gonna be true , 3 years? what will i be like then..
why god always so unfair to the 2 of us?
we are always so close yet so far ...
i know if you go in is good for you ..
at least you wont have to hide everyday worrying when n when you'll be caught..
the last few days memories will be kept in heart for a long long time ..
when i start looking at those photo with took, i cannot control the tears ..
i realise i cannot lose a brother like you .. other people may hate u and etc..but i will never ..
now inside , u must be worrying bout jasmine , but don worry i will help u take care of her .
im so sorry , when last night u call and wanted to tell u've been caught yet i din answer .
me and jasmine will be waiting for your letter.. hope when u come out you'll be a changed person
who knows how to think about your future ! sebastian kwek ching yi , my brother always . take care ! grandpa will bless you =)

2009-07-23T18:15:00.008+08:00

200709- sebas and jasmine came to find me at work place .. close shop and went home to change etc .. went city plaza for eyelash extension .. woohoo =) matthew came to meet us too and cabbed to bugis .. saw ah wah n ah boon on the road .. then ask ah wah meet me at leelian shop, smoke and talk awhile they left and off we went to newton to eat .. matthew left first , then the 3 of us went to mustafa again.. walk awhile and cabbed home

210709 - leelian came my work find me , then sebas jasmine came over too ..

close shop then leelian follow me home and change and etc ...

me and leelian went to find lanying at her work place .. ask her close shop then we went bugis street walk walk .. after that went boat quay ..saw big head and co there , leelian n lanying left first..

sebas , jas , seamus and 1 guy came find me @ boat quay ...

drink martell .. then richard and 1 guy came over ...finish the drink and left ..

met jordan @ my block downstair awhile and back home =)

220709 - after work met leng @ boat quay drink again, reach there saw some familiar face , soon they ask us join their table, drink then leng friend came to find us .. at last ... im drunk again..

230709 - overslept , nvr went for work.. jasmine call me n say sebas kena catch =(

lost for words .. damn no mood now ... 3 years again then can see him =( sebas we r waiting for u !

2009-07-18T19:28:00.004+08:00

i cant sleep well ytd!!! firstly it was a very scary dreamt that woke me up breathless=('
shall not mention it anymore ...
then , the agent keep bringing people to view flat ..
then my phone keep ringing ...dots ..
soon ... its time for work again ..drag myself to bathroom ...
and nothing much about my day .. look at eden photo below ...
so cute right ? so different from the mother n father !!!
hahahha..

2009-07-17T14:47:00.005+08:00

talk with leng the whole night ytd, we call and disiao the cheeleng..

he v cb sia , call back and say can i know u ? wtf, so desperate meh?

never see face also wanna know the person ..! after she put down i went to shower ..

then the weihao call me .. talk to him till 6 ? i forgot then he went to sleep ..

i ate the cough med also feel asleep . woke up 9 to go for grandpa 100th day..

went mandai then to blastier , after finish the whole family went to eat ba kut teh ..

so weather fucking hot can ! after eating and im back home =)

sian ah ! tml got work again !! another 2 weeks with no rest .! done ..i eat my med super tired already !

2009-07-16T19:04:00.002+08:00

work half way ytd went to see a doctor , fuck .. xin ku till like shit ...

call leelian and sebas , all of us the same feeling ..

for a moment i tot , wa really so suay meh ..

doctor took my temp 38.7 ..he say if by friday still the same then come bk for review ..

reach home ate my med and sleep all the way =)

but i still abit like fuck =(

heard something from my grandma today , i super feel so dulan ..

my aunt say i teach dic pg? omg .. it was actually the other way round man ..

i cant be bothered to xplain .. if assuming it was like that makes her feel her son was the best !!!

then be it .. it wont make any difference if i xplain .. just wasting my time and effort ..

sometimes ,selfishness makes one so ugly ! i dont deny sometimes my aunt treat me good but i really cant read thur her mind , the way she treat sebas is like fuck , maybe in order to protect dic , i really don know ...if only my mum and grandpa was still around , me and sebas wont be treated like FFFFFF !!!!! Aunt, " dont make promises to a dead person when you know u cant do it"!!

2009-07-14T14:49:00.008+08:00

still the same after so long =) been working everyday , and seriously feel so tired of it =(

i finally find this sentence so true" so little time, so much things to do"

finish work early ytd , leelian came find me then went to my house..

she wait for me make up then we cabbed to city plaza to do my hair..

sebas and jasmine was waiting there for me ..

after doin.. we cabbed to boat quay and drink .. yea .. my idea ..i cannot don drink can! lol.

sebas and jas left early .. me and leelian contiune .. after that richard came to find me ..

had fun ytd but i overslept today ...

never go work ? haha .. my grandma wake me up like siao ..

but seriously i din hear it uh ..no work no money? im tired this way ..

can money make you happy? but why aint i feeling happy at all ?

i fucking hell hate those who keeps asking about my grandpa ..

i cant forget , and the hurts keep stabbing in ..

grandpa , this friday will be your 100th day..

so fast ? i miss you seriously !=(

*i know you are blessing from above=)

2009-07-05T20:37:00.004+08:00

ytd was my little boy's birthday ,

happy birthday jeron!! =)

this year we cant celebrate his birthday caux grandpa just pass away =(

so just bought him to grandma house & he went downstair to play the funfair..

he damn cute la ..

around 7 baby say he want he kfc , so i order ..

sebas & jasmine came over ..

left around 9 plus and i went boat quay with leng , peter , annie..

annie bf join later on ...

again , i was drunk ..

reach home around 6 plus ... damn shag .. i hate martell man !

sebas & jeron enjoying kfc

my life =)

webcams

i always miss you like before =(

2009-07-01T23:48:00.002+08:00

pg @ home today , feeling so vexed all of a sudden ..

idk why .. suppose to meet maine @ st james ..

but been pg-ing the whole day till forget ..

eric ask me waatch transformer with him but lazyness spoilt it ..

next week onwards i'll be busy .. no time for drinking , no time for all things..

because grandma we'll be gg for eyes op and i need to help her..

maybe i can take this chance to save money ..

maybe? who knows temptation will spoil my plan..

waiting for brina photo , then me n maine will start our business thing..

hope my plan will go smoothly .. i need to think for future .. =)

2009-07-01T03:49:00.007+08:00

maine & elton came over my house and fetch me to brina house..

elton drop us there and left for work

reach brina house around 7, we went to see her baby ..

damn small .. lols ..

see her cute daughter below ..

her baby keep sleeping , yeah i know baby's only sleep ..

so, we're looking @ clothes and talking bout our business thingy ..

left brina house @ 8 ..

me and maine went tampinese 1 ..

nothing no walk , so i say go TM better la ..

also nothing to walk , caux most shop closing ..

then cab over to maine house .. slack and talk cock ..

she's busy taking those foto for those clothes

and i started 2 bling my phone ..

the outcome sucks ..

left her house @ 12 plus ...

and cabbeb home =)

Brina's Daughter

maine family member , lols
yupp , super great sis , charmaine @ maine house

*也許 , we might met again ..

but i probably forgotten those things we ever had ..

也許 you had always been a stranger in the start .

you've made me fallen so many times ..

i always learn to be strong ..

and i'll be stronger this time ..

you never realise ur mistake , my pain ..

i always wake up making the same mistake ,

the same mistake of thinking bout you ..

but its also you that wake me up from everything ..

you got what u wanted ..

and i knew what i wanted ..

也許 everything is predestined ..

i'll leave with no tears ..

because everything happens for a reason ..

Whats LOVE , Whats LUST ?

just a common game for girls and boys =)

2009-06-29T22:24:00.006+08:00

went buangkok house today , bought jeron along..

then left him there..

then went to ah boy house and share kelly...

left his house around 8 then back to buangkok to fetch jeron home ..

i dont know why i still cant resist kelly ..

i know i've wasted my effort ..

i really don know what im doin anymore

2009-06-27T18:24:00.004+08:00

i read something today that made me drop my tears ..

it's a post from my cousin blog ..

i was actually quite suprise that i was moved by it ..
my cousin told me just now he had a bad dream last night ..

it was something bout my grandpa ..

to me , it seems like he's hinting not to sell this house ..

everybody agree with what i said ..

yea .. no one actually bear to move ...

right now , im so tired.. have not slept since last night ..chat on phone with jun xiang =)

and i cant sleep caux my aunt went overseas and i've to do all these things ..

im feeling weird today .. not happy , not sad ..

there's something i kept thinking but w/o any link ..

wth .. lag of sleep makes your mind go wild ?

lols .. i think i did something mean ytd .. but was it actually my fault then ?

i really don know , just venting all my anger i have for you all these while ..

im not a bad friend but sometimes , things just force me to do it ..just let things be ..

maybe i should just fucking hell stop all these drinking .. i cant stop drugs y not drinking ..hmmm .. but if i stop drinking my life will seems so meaningless .. lols ..
long and naggy post ? but so what .. it my blog man ...!!

awaiting for 7 pm and i call jolly well sleep till like there's no tml =)

2009-06-26T18:54:00.003+08:00

woke up 5pm today .. damn shag man ..
watch the movie "coming soon" @ home ..
the movie not really scary but then abit digusted by that woman face la ..
ytd @ court leng msg me äsking if i was angry ..
im like wth hell man .. what's the point of asking today when everything is over ..
i was angry because she gave me sucha lame excuse man ..
i dont wanna mention much bout it la , when she called me i was super angry because
i was super tired while waiting for ah boy sentence ..
never make someone angry when that person is so lag of sleep , lols ..
caux the person will fucking blow even if it might seems like nothing to you ..
ytd experience was the best .. all 3 of us the same attitude expect for ah choi ..=)

its been days or izzit been weeks since i last heard from you ?
i guess it's been too long for me to remember how long it was ..
too long that i even forgotten the pain ..
i always tot that someday there will be miracle ..
i always pray for the day that i'll see you again ..
but did you even know being this way is so much more pain ..
yupp , you will never realise =)
"let it be" is what i always tell myself ..

2009-06-25T18:49:00.018+08:00

fish spa , fucking digusting
jasmine voxy @ mustafa

ah choi bear jasmine voxy@ k-box

mustafa =)

@ 269 coffeeshop

269 coffeeshop

ytd went to meet sebas and jasmine @ illuma ..

we watch the movie DRAG ME TO HELL ..

half of the movie i was like covering my ears man.. the sound effect ..

damn funny la .. we 3 cant stop laughing and screaming...

after movie we went 269 sit and smoke ..

then off we go mustafa , actually wanted go BQ drink..

had alot fun there man ..walk till tired we sit down and eat ...

and thinking where 2 go ..then we decided to either go catch prawn or fish spa..

we choose fish spa, caux like non of us dare to hook the worm la..

went bishan for the fish spa...i swear i really don dare put down my leg caux damn digusting when the whole bunch swim to you..sebas and jasmine also same la .so we 3 change to body massage, shiok la !

after that ah choi come find us then we went jasmine house play mahjong ..

play till tired we went to rest awhile before gg sub court ..

damn shag , we took bus80 to chinatown and walk damn far lo! the sub court seems so far man ..

after jasmine settle her things there, they say go walk walk and wait till 3pm for ah boy court sentence.. 4 of us like super shag already.. then we decided, got so many time , we go sing k-box..

sing till 3 we walk back to sub court ..kao ah boy court super long ... we from 3pm wait till 5 plus... between this time got abit of problem .. shall not mention ..im so shag now.. im gg sleep man !

enjoy with these people man !

2009-06-23T01:13:00.007+08:00

lanying darling =)
annie

best sister ever, charmaine =)

i fucking love this 3 ladies in my life..

thru ups & down ..

we may be busy withour lifes ..

but i'll never forget the time we go thru =)

i love you man sister's !

YOU'RE A LIER ! I HATE YOU YR!!!!!!!!

fuck everyone who's around me ..

fuck those who act like they care ..

fuck those hypocrite.

SEBAS ANd DICkson court postpone again =)

2009-06-22T05:34:00.003+08:00

im so so so tired but when i close my eyes , i kept thinking of so many things ..

i dont know why , im moodless , speechless now !

i slept for only 4 hours ytd and im really so tired now ...

hmmm .. Grandma say will buy 1 phone give me , so good of her ..

1st time sia .. i must buy 4d .. lols ..

i feel so meaningless in life , grandma didnt understand why i kept drinking ..

maybe its the only way i can find myself.. im not trying to get any excuse for myself ..

seriously those beer doesnt taste good .. so why would i wanna drink almost every night ..

anyway i cant be bothered to xplain .. caux she wont understand anyway ...

i was watching some video in you tube & i saw 1 that is really SOHAI lo !

i cant stop laughing to myself ..and grandma tot i was crazy laughing to myself @ 5am in the morning.lols .

i still cant sleep , how how how !!!!!

2009-06-21T01:02:00.002+08:00

ytd fucking bad day =( lost my hp & money ..

and fucking slap by 1 cb gay!

went she bangs ytd , drank super fast ..

then went to sabai .

i fucking hate sabai man! lost my phone 2times there ..

bad friday man!!

im fucking moodless now!

bad mood , everything spoil my day!!!!

fuck the person who took the phone ..

2009-06-18T20:29:00.002+08:00

不怪父母生错命 , 命运早已天注定 !

2009-06-18T17:29:00.005+08:00

the donald duck.. super cute siol
me and leng in chan pub

went chan pub ytd with leng & peter ...
played and kept losing .. drink n drink...
wah , we still went to you pub .. reach there i abit lost already ...
after closed .. i still say wanna go she bangs ..guess peter must be very dulan with me bahs ...
hhaha .. share cab with him to boat quay, he drop me and leng there ...
saw david n co there .. drank abit of his martell and i swear it sucks man with beer =(
drink drink drink...david send me home...haha saved cab fare man! reach home with a donald duck in my bag ... i forgotten how i got it .. maybe angela .. hhahaha ...
i remember i reach home i still call the police... siao le la...
because of those malay people !!! angry la ...

you never know i always yearn to see you ..

you never seems to worry about how am i ..

you never even bother to give a call..

no matter how many days you never hear about me..

what am i actually to you?

you never bother to let me know ..

i know maybe you're happier this way..

2009-06-17T12:46:00.003+08:00

ytd went blastier to do my hair with aunt ..

i did colouring... but maciam no difference siol !

help my grandma ytd and didnt slept .. help her till 1 plus

come home caux feeling cramp .. was about to go sleep

aunt ask me want do my hair then i followed ...

wa .. i tot will be very fast jitao 2 plus in the afternoon do until 9 in the night ..

i kept dosing there ..

reach home shower n sleep ..

i've woke up now ... my whole body feeling so pain =(

im getting weaker everyday ...

tml gg ah chan pub 2 drink .. yea!

2009-06-15T20:11:00.002+08:00

took with sebas phone .

BROTHER & SiStER everything will be fine very soon

2009-06-14T18:31:00.007+08:00

waitress @ she bangs , i dont know her name
leng voxy amy

went she bangs again ytd ...hmmm , boring man ~

drink quite fast and then lanying & her friend join us ..

kao , lanying , good intro uh ! u know i know what i mean uh ..

ying forever never changed , so fast drunk then she left early ..

leng n me drank till 3 or 4 plus? i dont know..

send her to sengkang ... reach my place cab fare $37 .. WTH...

i super cant stand that DA NIU!!

when i say don come u still come .. very fan gan okiee.

reach home , super drunk already ...

你的选择或许没错,你没有给过我承诺也许是我欠你

2009-06-13T18:19:00.005+08:00

leng n me in you pub
went leng house meet nieki n leng ...
then we reach boat quay bout 9 plus join big head n his friend table..
we drank super fast ..
then again we went you pub.
many things happen there, long story!
in short! i super duper du lan with that china woman!
f*** her man .. luckily her ..
nieki only manage to push her...
hmm.. i woke up with whole body feeling pain..
must be beacuse of someone man ..lols...
nbm... all over la!
me n leng still went back to she bangs n drink..
then da niu came to fetch us home ...
god! i don wan him.. i want the other him man!
y god always send the wrong one to me... hur =(

ps* if you could understand how my heart feels , you wont left me feeling this way . it only proves, you never understand at all =( yiren

2009-06-12T01:26:00.004+08:00

saw this video from peggy blog and i find it nice too man !

im waiting n waiting .. just your call!

izzit very hard for you ..

i don wanna think so much ...but my mind is so full of you...

kept thinking of reason for you .. why that havent you called..

i don like this feeling YIREN!

2009-06-11T14:51:00.002+08:00

suppose to go you pub ytd .. but ..
went leng house meet her 1st .. then we was thinking ..
then our last decision was she bangs ..
went there .. WA jitao no people sia ..
we say " drink finish this barrel we go you pub ok"
fransis the face really jitao very lan jiao bin lo..
see liao more dulan..
soon got more n more people ..
me n leng was busily entertaining ourself jitao very HAPPY!!
suddenly we saw zheng yue..a group of people which i don really wish to see..
hais , they haven come in i was like praying ,"please, i don wan see kelvin!!"
i n leng mood change super fast lo, i was like thinking , arbo don need finish this barrel straight away walk off , when they walk in , kao YIREN sia !!
leng say" don care them la, we play oursleves"
and so we continue our game ... still laughing n laughing..
ya .. we became high le ... i ask leng go toilet with me because we have to walk pass them to get to the toilet ..then yiren said" don know us ah?" lols..
i just walk off , i know that's rude but leng stop n talk to them ..
and soon they join our table ...drink drink , play game , kao , i kept lose man !
went out to smoke, then yiren told me " hais why you choose to be with kelvin, he already got GF"!!
seriously when i heard that, i admit i was devasted, i really don know!!
i cried then that stupid yiren comfort me ..
soon i was really v drunk already ..
they still went to eat man ...
then yiren n i send leng home ...
i spent the whole night with yiren , and i was glad...i knew something i always wanted to know from yiren...
YIREN, i don wanna think, where i stand in your heart now ..
at least things turn out better then before ..

2009-06-09T21:52:00.004+08:00

who can i turn to when i just need someone to cry, to tell all my problem..
why cant things be simple in life?
why are humans all so ugly ?
sebastian , do you think things can turn out like before?
im really tired of hearing all these ugly stuff bout you..
each time i sees you , i cant bring myself to scold you..
after grandpa pass away, all these things happen..
i really almost breakdown..
i really miss grandpa so so so much...
sebastian , have you wonder is he peaceful above?
if he wasn't gone ... things wont be more n more worst...
i need peace, i just wanna avoid these ugly place, ugly people..
sister are just words put in each other mouth..
there's no one i can actually talk to..
these world is not going the way i want to..
mummy,grandpa if i could just join you all...
would it be better?

我要和世界脱离

ps* take me above =( im not happy here

2009-06-08T14:39:00.003+08:00

went ice pub at serangoon ,drink, drink drink till abit high we ended up at you pub .

lols. i was damn drunk that day man ..

actually ah wah told me to go pasir ris meet and i also don know

how the hell he will come kampung bahru.. hahhaha .

must be i tell him to come .. i don remember anything i said that night .

sat on ah boon bike and and i think we did stop at duxton caux i think i saw after six man !!

then went to EAST COAST .

i remember sitting on the beach with ah wah but i don remember whay i've said .. lol

after that wah send me home n off i go n sleep!

i reach home i don know what time n suddenly my aunt call me wake up go airport !!

ya man , forgot gg macau in an early flight ..

ah boon say i sit his bike swing left n right ..hahha . luckily never fall off ah !

2009-06-08T03:42:00.003+08:00

不知道什么时候开始喜欢了你
看不到你我就迷矢了自己
只要一闭上眼睛总有千百万个你
你的影子装满我的脑海里
你是好人也是个坏人,这点痛我还能忍.
选择放弃的我应该开心.
我不知道我怎么哭了!
当回忆睡在胸前,真的很伤感.
不能够不想你也不能够忘记你
我只能怪自己有时候太任性
想你的时候只能回味那失落的一段情
她在你的心中,早就已经进去了..我还爱上你
我知道这样不行也知道没有结果
我还在傻傻继续下去!
就算是当作一时糊涂爱错吧!
不敢再去想!看著你的眼你是幸福的!
答应我一直幸福=)

im feeling confused, lost,down but who can i tell to..
i wonder how are you now . .
i left with blood bleeding but who can i tell to ...

2009-06-07T02:21:00.008+08:00

im back from macau, and i super love n miss there.

i know we can never be open about this.

but i can never blame how im feeling now, sad but there's nothing i can do.

anyway, thanks uncle alex for the free trip =) n uncle william for those free stuff.

i tried for 2weeks to kick my habit yet this trip made everything go wasted..=(

but its ok la , i enjoy everynight drinking with those people ..

looking forward again for more trips man!

i miss my phone, its with someone n idk when the hell i can get it back =(

p.s * i'll always love you =)

2009-06-01T00:29:00.002+08:00

goodbye singapore & hello macau !!

haha!

i'll be leaving on tuesday morning and be back on saturday .

hohoho! 3 weeks already since kelly has left me .

and i swear , i fucking feel so terrible without it .

i admit i do miss it sometimes . . everyone was like ..

"wow , good la.. never touch already "

but i don really feel great bout it .

instead i wish kelly will never go !

im so afraid one of these day i'll still go back to it .

when im like trying so hard these weeks . i don wish everything goes wasted .

everything changed so fast , but im never happy with it =(

p.s .when u start to realise how ugly human is . you start to detest this place

2009-05-30T19:22:00.004+08:00

http://ihateahpink.com

ok, go and see this cb blog.

Hey loves this girl of this Pic. Is called Misshyhui. Real name Inez. Please beware her. She love to snatch people BF. Include her close friends. Ka people lan jiao wei. & bomb alot of things. She claim to be 170cm & 55kg. When she is 180cm & 150kg. & claim she got back up call Eric,Lone, age 26.We checked & this person doesn't exist at all. She put place & Time. & no gut to come down. & even off her phone. She think she so eh sai & pretty. & people who play maple. Or audi she love scramming people. After scamming she will just scold you.& say you're stupid for her to scam.

went to you pub last night at kampung bahru with leng.

and i was like fucking drunk because of those tiko man there .

but overall it was a fun night man ..

and i fucking hell don know why i ended @ she bangs again.

leng say, " you la, keep wanna go"

hahha, well. she was also high man !

im thinking weather i wanna werk there caux serene keep asking me ,

but im like i don feel the enviorment suits me !

gosh , woke up at 9am today caux it was grandpa 49 days ,

so fast ... im like dragging myself up , terrible hangover ..

reach home around 12pm n i straight away head to my bed n pop i fall asleep .

if i had not sleep i fucking hell will buy 4d man!

my third price n starter gone because of my sleeep ,

hur hur .. same number open twice ...

these is the second time man !!!

no luck means no luck ah !

2009-05-28T13:18:00.004+08:00

nice phone but the function sux man!i don wan le =(

sebas n dic court on monday =( and i'll be gg oversea either on mon or tue but actually i don really feel happy bout it ... nothing 2 blog .

2009-05-26T03:40:00.006+08:00

web cam =) on phone with leng

2009-05-25T23:40:00.005+08:00

let's drink man
been feeling sick these days,

and my tounge fucking like shit caux of those panadol !

i swear i wont touch again,

its the 4th n last time man!

today was dic & sebas court,

haish postpone to next week.

but this time extra 1 more charge.hope nothing will happen.

friday faster come , im bored drinking at home..

i miss boat quay man! 1 weeks never go ready!!!

hmmm, will be gg overseas next week with my aunt,

finally can relax myself ...

& leng ah , better wait for me come back then go take ren yuan hor!!!

don so selfish! cb . hahahaha..

p.s * god pray, everything will be allright for my family. grandpa bless us from above.